She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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