Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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