The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize