Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
