3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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