Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
