You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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