But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
