Already got asked if we're dating
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
