i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
