found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize