Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
