Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
