if you like me you must not know who I am
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
