I feel great
I just peed on a car
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
