I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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