You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Bring me that man meat
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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