yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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