yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
