Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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