Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
