the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
