And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
