haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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