I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
