I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
