I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
