im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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