so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
