Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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