i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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