you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
