I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Terrible idea I love it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
