a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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