people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
