a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize