smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
