So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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