There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
