You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God, I missed his penis.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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