Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
