Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
