Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
