He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
