Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's like heaven, but drunker
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
