If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
