I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
