doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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