I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
