tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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