whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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