dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize