Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize