i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
