Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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