I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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