we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
