sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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