you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
