I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
