I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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