I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
