Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
