dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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