i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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