I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
