How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
