i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize