I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
