you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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